Couples Therapy Can Be More Effective Than Individual Therapy

Clients doing couples therapy often report they see changes much faster within themselves and their relationships compared to doing individual therapy.

With couples work, both are in the room. Both understand the process - they learn about their brains, they buy into the ground rules. It’s a level playing field. There’s joint accountability.

In the couples process, each partner works through a series of questionnaires and simple exercises to help them reflect on themselves in a fresh way, to get really clear about their patterns of protection and needs.

One of my couples the other day was sharing with me how they’d shared together what they’d learned about themselves from the various questionnaires and exercises.

They said it was quite scary to share so much about themselves. It felt vulnerable. But they also felt courageous that they did it.

Each learned about the other in a different way.

One partner stated “It wouldn't have been possible to do this in individual therapy.”

And continued, “I might have shared something really sensitive. If my partner wasn’t joining me on this journey he wouldn't have had a clue what I was talking about, or why I was trying to share.

“In the old days he might have said I was trying to manipulate him. Then I would have ended up feeling hopeless and shutting down. Again. And that would have led him to get angry with me.

“Now, I feel I’m learning about him - and he about me - in a totally new way. He’s quite interesting really……☺️”

The couples work is a joint project. It’s an opportunity to connect and to deepen and strengthen connection - here in the present, not so influenced and burdened by the past.

This is connection.

As a caveat, not all couples are ready to share so vulnerably with their partner. And that’s OK. We need to build safety in the system. And that happens as we do the work.

If you’re ready to see how the couples process can accelerate your therapy, please get in touch.

Take care